the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
