the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
