matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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