you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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