it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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