I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
