so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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