I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do herpes really smell.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You took a bar mat shot.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
