She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
