i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
