If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
