i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
