two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
