...so i touched it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
