I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
