You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
