Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
