Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
