I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
