you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
