he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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