There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize