I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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