ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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