he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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