mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
