Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
