I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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