Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize