I'm jealous of your bromance
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
