Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
