my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
