My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
