if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
