I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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