You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize