i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize