There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
