i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
