I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
