i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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