Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
