She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
