I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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