Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
