I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
