I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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