Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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