are you still at the devil's house?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
