1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
