omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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