i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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