This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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