Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
