i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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