He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
