singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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