just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
someone owes me an orgasm
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
