Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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