Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize