i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
