Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
