The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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