I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
