jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize