i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
