you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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