someone threw a dead crab at me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
