Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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