I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
