Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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