apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
