All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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