Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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