at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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