she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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