I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize