is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
