I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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