you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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