farters have to be the big spoon...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
