There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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