6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
