So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
